This is what happens when you’re on vacation.

Because I am interested in food and cooking I like to spend time reading and researching the cooking/vegetarian/vegan/health blogosphere. Let me tell you: It’s madness out there, and unless I quickly happen upon something lovely and lighthearted such as an adorable video of Isa Chandra Moskowitz and her sidekick, Terry Hope Romero, making tamales while mispronouncing Spanish words, I run away, shielding my eyes and ears from one more forum on why cow’s milk, asprin, sugar, and carbohydrates are devil spawn. I just can’t take it! I want to be in the loop! I want to be healthy (don’t we all?)! And of course, I can’t bear the thought that I might be poisoning my child, husband and self with a refrigerator and pantry full of irresponsible foods. But I can’t take the guilt, folks, and after reading a few too many internet rants on why I should be whipping myself for letting my daughter wear non-cloth diapers (I TRIED, they SMELL ALL THE TIME, yes even after you wash and WASH and WASH them) I feel like I just may throw the towel in altogether and go roast a lamb for dinner in rebellion.

Truthfully, eating meat is not my style, but I feel like there is no place for us moderates. Those of us who will still eat eggs and use organic sugar in their baked goods, and even pop the occasional Ibuprofen when we have a splitting headache, have no place in either the eco-friendly, vegetable eating world, nor in the meat-eating one. We are nomads without a people or a guru, and it’s lonely out here.

And while we are on the subject of things to feel guilty about, I am just going to give you the full confession (not that anyone asked).

Sometimes I don’t recycle (sorry, Kirsta).

I have occasionally, when the need arose and I didn’t have time to determine another way, used gelatin.

At this very moment, there is a container of  Thai curry in my refrigerator with one of its ingredients blacked out with sharpie ink, because I don’t want my husband to know that I didn’t read the whole label before purchasing it.

I do own a can of Crisco.

I don’t ask what they put in the broth at our favorite Thai Restaurant, because I like to live dangerously, and it tastes so effing good.

I still, once in a blue moon, smoke a cigarette (sorry, Mom)

I usually forget to bring my own bag (haha, screw you Whole Foods and your whole evil, no-plastic-bags-for-customers-even-on-a-rainy-day empire).

I’m sure there are more, but right now I need to go make some herbal tea and throw out the whole milk in my fridge and maybe do the neti pot. Then I will bake some chocolate chip cookies, which my daughter will surely eat before dinner.

How bad can it be to eat eggs, when you are using a large plastic knife and wearing a poncho??

4 thoughts on “Madness

  1. Oy vey. I’m with you. Moderation is always the hardest thing to find support for, because everyone moderates differently. I met a guy who called himself a vegan but ate eggs, milk and fish (he was confused, but the point is he had found a point of moderation that worked for him). The fact that all of us have lived this long means none of these taboo food items will ACTUALLY kill us, so hysteria is probably uncalled for. That being said, we all make choices about what we eat and how and why, and can’t we all stop judging each other for it? When I was in an all-girls middle school, there was a lot of anorexia and anxiety about anorexia, and so we were all instructed not to comment on other people’s food choices. At all. How civilized that seems now. Everyone is, actually, trying to do the right thing. Now if only people would stop screaming on the internet!

    In keeping with your spirit of confession: I hate feeling guilted into giving up my seat on the bus/train. Because I am a coward, I avoid eye contact with the elderly when the bus/train begins to fill up.

    1. yes, it is so safe to “scream” on the internet. I am just sick to death of people adopting these philosophies as their personalities and becoming militant whatevers . But I also do feel a large amount of skepticism towards all the junk the FDA tries to shove down our throats…oh who knows? Anyway, thanks for reading!

  2. ariella! i strongly feel you are not anywhere near being bad and really have nothing to be sorry about. no one is perfect. and you are definitely not alone. and just so you know i LOVE the neti pot though i have a difficult time sometimes to get in out that first time.

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